I can’t claim to be an expert in what to buy for baby raising. If they hand out awards for that, we were certainly neither informed nor nominated. However, we had Allison in a tiny one bedroom apartment for her first 9 months, and I’m me, so we were more careful than most about what we bought and kept during that time. Here's a pretty exhaustive list of what we found necessary for baby.
TRANSPORTATION:
The thing you will not be allowed to leave the hospital without is, of course, the car seat. I recommend a travel system that includes a pumpkin seat, a base, and a stroller. Yes, I know the baby can only fit in it for about 9 months and then you’ll have to get a different one. But the benefits are huge. Mainly, when baby falls asleep in the car or stroller, you can just lift him in the seat and plop him down in your place of choice in the house. So worth it. Trust me. [Also they are a huge help when you are running errands and making multiple stops--no strapping baby in and out all the time). The travel systems can be pricey, but they make spectacular shower gifts. So go ahead, do some research and register for the one you want. Or, you can always check craigslist. The first system we got was used and only $40 for the whole shebang. However, check the dates. The typical life of a car seat is seven years, which is something to think about if you suspect baby will be getting a sibling or two at some point.
I also recommend getting a ‘bundle-me’ for your pumpkin seat. It’s a blanket that straps into the car seat and keeps baby nice and cozy no matter what he is wearing. This is clearly not a necessity, but I was so happy to have mine with Nicole. You don’t have to worry about bulky coats or snow suits (which look pretty uncomfortable and are actually unsafe in a carseat), and if baby spits up or leaks any other undesirable fluids, you only need to wash the bundle me, not the whole car seat cover.
The final thing I recommend in the transportation department is a baby carrier. The Ergo is fabulous, as it allows you to carry kids weighing up to 40 lbs on your back. HAHAHAHA. As if any sane parent wants to carry their 40 lb kid on their back. The ridiculous weight limit aside, the Ergo is very comfortable for both parent and child, and it works as a front or back carrier. My one complaint is that I didn’t care for it with the infant insert (we had a basic front carrier I preferred when the girls were very little). Try some different carriers on; strap a 20 lb weight in them (or a friend’s baby if you have one accessible). Try walking around, vacuuming, doing dishes, and bouncing on the balls of your feet while singing nursery rhymes. And try putting it on when you are tired--maybe 4 am or so. This is a valuable part of training for parents-to-be and will help you select the correct carrier for your family.
THE NURSERY:
I use the term ‘nursery’ loosely of course, as it doesn’t have to mean an entire room devoted to baby. But it should include somewhere for baby to sleep, be changed and dressed, and somewhere to store all of baby’s clothing, accessories, and any additional paraphernalia. I use the phrase ‘additional paraphernalia’ in loo of “baby’s multitude of crap’ because it sounds nicer. But let’s not sugar coat it. Baby will have more things than you and your partner combined. The smaller the person, the more stuff they have. It’s probably Newton’s fourth law or something. Anyway, if you can swing it, it’s nice to have an entire room devoted to your newest family member.
You will probably want a crib or a pac n’ play. Even if you think you will co-sleep, it’s nice to have a safe place you can put your baby while you cook dinner, open mail, or scream into a pillow when nothing seems to be making baby happy. You should probably also get a couple of sheets for it and a waterproof pad or two, you know, just in case your baby isn’t quite as fluid free as you may hope. I really liked having a crib and a pac n play. A small pac n’ play is nice for the first few months because you can set it up in your room for easy access to the baby during its multiple night wakings or in the living area as a place to change baby without walking all the way to the nursery. If your house is all one level, you may not see the perks of this. But add in sleep and sanity deprivation and your perception of ‘so far away’ may change.
I’d buy a crib that works for a boy or a girl in case mini-you has siblings. You can always make it gender-cutesy if you wish with sheets/bumper pads etc. If I could do it again, I’d pick a crib that can transition to a toddler bed. From what I’ve heard, the move from crib to big-kid bed goes much more smoothly if it is, in fact, the same bed.
For the pac n’ play, I know there are a ton of options out there. They have ones in adorable girl or boy prints, ones with ruffles, ones with lights and sounds and mobiles, and ones with automatic diaper changers and wine dispensers. Wait, no, those last two were just wishful thinking. Honestly, I’d go as simple as possible. Sure, get one that’s cute and that folds easily (they probably all do now). But all the extras tend to make it hard to store, and we found we didn’t use them much anyway. I do like the bassinet/changer features; we used them a lot when the kids were wee.
***Another less expensive option is to just put a mattress on the floor from the time the baby first comes home. The idea is that there will never be a need to transition to ‘big kid’ bed because the baby has been sleeping in one all along (just make sure the room is baby-proofed). And with the wisdom that comes from transitioning two kids to big kid beds, let me tell you, not having that transition would be amazing. In fact, after finally getting Nicole to stay in her big girl bed at night, I swore I would do the mattress on the floor method if we ever had a third child. But then children three and four arrived simultaneously, and what better way to spend a boatload of money than to buy not just one crib, but two?! I’m really looking forward to transitioning two at once [please note the sarcasm]. But if I ever have a 5th kid—no crib for sure.
As for a place to change baby and keep all the clothes and such, I suggest a regular dresser with nice deep drawers. Get some drawer organizers to help keep all that itty bitty clothing neat and visible. Ikea has some great organizers and relatively cheap dressers.
I really like the idea of a regular dresser because you can attach a changing pad to it when baby is young, and it will be a more useable piece of furniture in the future. Also, you can pick a height for the dresser that’s comfortable for you to change the baby on. I recommend using a basket or something basket-like to keep all of your diapering essentials together and accessible. We’ve always had a basket on top of the dresser with diapers and wipes (not sure what all you need with cloth-diapering if you’re going that route), and a smaller bin for diaper cream, a nasal aspirator, and any medications or special creams you may need at any given time.
Another item for the nursery that is not a necessity, but can feel a lot like one, is a rocking chair. We didn’t get one before we had Allie, but I sent Chris out to buy one the day after we brought her home from the hospital. I kid you not. Get one. Get one used. Borrow one from a friend. Steal one from an enemy. But get one. You can thank me at 3 am when you are rocking a snugly baby that will only sleep in your arms. Just don’t call me to thank me. I will be sleeping.
ACCESSORIES
There are roughly eight thousand accessories available for baby. I’m estimating of course, but just check your local Babies R Us if you need confirmation. We didn’t try all of them, but I have a few must-have items and a few don’t-need items that I can share here.
The must haves include burp-cloths, bibs, and receiving blankets or swaddling blankets. For burp-cloths, I recommend the tri-fold cloth diapers. You can make them cute by sewing strips of fabric on either end, or just leave them white. Either way, they are hands down the best for wiping up spit up, protecting your shoulder (if you are into preserving your clothing and not changing three times a day), and can even double as a blankie in a pinch. I wore one over my left shoulder for three months straight after having Allison, and even longer when we had Nicole. One pack of 6 should suffice.
A three pack of drool bibs is a good place to start. If your baby is prone to spitting up and large amounts of drool, you may need a second pack, but for starters three should be fine. I like the ones from Carter’s. They are cloth covered and waterproof, but don’t feel overly stiff. They also make them with a snap which is important once baby figures out how to rip off the velcro ones.
As for receiving blankets or swaddling blankets, I think three or four should be adequate. Actually, I’d probably recommend a three or four pack of receiving blankets in addition to two swaddling blankets. The receiving blankets are great to keep in your diaper bag as a light weight blanket or a place to put baby at friends’ houses. The swaddling blankets, I’m convinced, make for much easier nap times. The nurses will make perfect baby burritos with simple receiving blankets, but Chris and I found that we were gloriously inept at this most coveted of skills. Enter swaddling blankets. They are a fool proof way to keep baby’s arms and legs from flailing inconveniently, thus allowing for more peaceful sleep for baby (and for you!).
One accessory that I think you can definitely forgo if you are tight on space (or even if you aren’t) is the baby bathtub. That’s what sinks are for. The baby tubs are big and just one more thing to clean. When baby outgrows the sink, you can move him directly to the bath tub. Sure, it’s a little hard on your back, but babies are small and quite quick to clean. Ten minutes. Tops. All this talk of baby baths has reminded me of a couple other things you may want: hooded towels and baby wash cloths. We used the baby wash cloths minimally (just for sponge baths), but we still use hooded towels for the girls (albeit bigger ones). We just have one for each kid and have never had an issue, but you may want two depending on how often you do baths.
CLOTHING:
It is tempting to go out and buy every cute little outfit you see for baby. They are just so little. And so cute. In reality, our babies lived in a few basic pieces. Sure, they had some special outfits in each size, but these really ended up being just for pictures, holidays or the occasional visit with great-grand parents. Likely, baby’s grandparents and great grandparents will provide such outfits, and you will not have to buy anything special. But go ahead and get a couple if you must. After all, they are just so little. And so cute.
Keep in mind that overalls, button down shirts, slacks, or little sweaters are often not the easiest clothes to put on baby. Or take off. And it’s not as easy as you might think to dress a baby. All those uncontrolled limbs flailing about. The giant head. The feeling that you might break their little arms as you shove them into long sleeves. Here are the basics that I suggest for babies up to 6 months old (and rather than repeat myself over and over, all of these things you can get at Carter’s. They are well made, relatively inexpensive (watch for sales), and wash well):
1 Pack of Newborn size side snap long sleeve tees w/hand covers
The side snap is for before baby’s belly button heals, the hand covers are so you don’t have to worry about baby scratching himself with the long fingernails you are too afraid to clip. Both of our girls basically lived in these and diapers--no pants--their first week or so.
1 5-Pack of White Short-sleeve onesies in each size (NB, 3 months, 6 months)
4 or 5 Footie Pajamas in each size (NB, 3 months, 6 months)
Bonus points if you find zip up ones. They are far easier for middle of the night diaper changes. You may need more or less depending on how messy your particular baby is. The rule in the Claussen household is that there is no need to change baby’s clothes unless they have spit-up or some other bodily fluid on them. Up until 6 months, footie pjs can be worn day or night, or day AND night. Our kids wore them 24-7 until about 9 months (don’t judge!). Not only are they versatile, but the ‘footie’ part keeps you from having to worry about trimming baby’s toenails and about socks that won’t stay on anyway.
2-Pack Soft Elastic Waist Pants with 5-Pack Coordinating Onesies
Just in case you feel baby should be more ‘dressed’ than footie pjs, these are nice for easy and comfortable everyday wear.
1 or 2 Hats
The hospital will likely give you one, and you may want one or two more since babies look adorable in hats. Also, if you take baby outside and he doesn’t have a hat on, every women over 65 in a five mile radius will ask why ‘mommy didn’t put a hat on that poor baby.’
Socks
Maybe. Some parents like them. We had little use for them until the kids were closer to walking, as the best way to get them to stay on is by covering them up with shoes. We had little use for shoes until the kids were close to walking as well, and the ones we loved were Robeez. They are adorable and they stay on. Score.
TOILETRIES
This is a nice short section, as babies are pretty low maintenance when it comes to skin, nail, and hair products. I’d suggest a baby bath soap and shampoo in one. We had one medium bottle of Johnson and Johnson’s baby soap and shampoo that lasted us a good 12 months, and was all we ever needed to keep baby clean. A good diaper cream is crucial; we like Desitin, but I suspect you can find one that you will like just as well. You may want a bottle of baby oil or baby oil gel in case of cradle cap, but you could also wait and see what your doctor recommends if the problem arises. You may want to buy baby lotions, but babies are so soft in general that it seems unnecessary. If your baby develops eczema or some other common skin condition, your doctor will likely recommend something specific, and you can buy it then. You will want to have a gum brush (they go on your finger to brush baby’s gums and first teeth--no toothpaste needed), a comb, finger nail clippers (I suggest one with a removable guard), a thermometer (I think it’s worth it to get one that is as fast and unobtrusive as possible), and a nasal aspirator (the hospital will probably give you one that is better than one any amount of money can buy).
FEEDING/NURSING:
For the first five or six months, your baby will eat almost exclusively breast milk or formula. Some doctors seem to recommend you start feeding your baby solids by four months, but even if you go that route you will just need one or two little baby bowls and a couple of baby spoons. Easy peasy.
If nursing works out for you, and you are not comfortable nursing without a cover, I suggest a ‘hooter hider.’ Babies are small, but they are quite adept at exposing you at inopportune moments during feedings. I preferred mine to a regular blanket because I lacked the coordination (and extra hands) necessary to keep myself covered and get the baby latched on at the same time. I also suggest a lanolin based product (like Lanisoh) for the first few weeks.
If you will be bottle feeding, you will need 6 to 8 bottles, a fabulous pump (if you are planning on using breastmilk), and a bottle brush and/or a bottle cleaner insert for your dishwasher. I feel guilty even admitting this, but for the girls, we loved the Playtex bottle liner system. Not fabulous for the environment, but oh so very convenient for parents. However, for the boys, who were exclusively bottle fed, we opted for the Avent natural bottles. If baby is not picky, I’d use a bottle system with the fewest number of parts per bottle. All those dishes really add up. If you intend to use formula, I’d find one your baby tolerates, and stick to it. You’ll probably get plenty of samples from the hospital and in the mail.
I would forgo the highchair if you are tight on space. We got a sassy seat that clipped to the table, and that is all we used until the kids were big enough for a standard booster chair. I think they even sell boosters that recline for smaller babies now, so you could probably get away with just having one of those.
TOYS AND ENTERTAINMENT
You do not have to buy any toys for baby. No, that is not a typo. One day you will look around your house and think, “We have way too many toys!!!” They will just appear and then procreate like bunnies. People will give them to you as gifts, you will get hand me downs. And if you don’t, for the first 6 months, baby will be perfectly happy chewing on your tupperware lids and drooling on your phone. Of course, if you can’t resist that adorable little stuffed animal or perfectly educational set of rings, go ahead and get it. It is fun, and not all phones are created drool-proof.
Even if you are trying to stick to the basics, you may want to splurge on a bouncy seat or swing of some sort for your baby. It’s nice to have a portable place to set them down and keep them nearby while you shower, fold laundry, eat dinner, or more realistically, snooze on the couch.
FOR THE PARENTS
Find a diaper bag that you love. It will be your purse (or murse) for the next three plus years. Lots of pockets are great. Easy to clean is great. Personally, I have not regretted for one moment my purchase of the Petunia Pickle Bottom backpack diaper bag. It is high quality, it doesn’t slide off my shoulder when I’m chasing munchkins, and has everything an organized fanatic like me would want in a bag. It also hooks to my stroller with these nifty little stroller hooks that are sold separately. I’m not going to lie. It was pricey. But worth every penny, and the only bag I’ve ever needed.
Read some baby books BEFORE you bring home baby. If you are like us, you’ve spent plenty of time reading up on pregnancy, labor and delivery. You may even have read some books on breast feeding. That’s great! Just don’t forget to read a book on baby and sleep. (We like Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child). Because it turns out, most babies do not know how and when to sleep on their own. I know. It’s shocking. Unpleasantly so.
Go on some dates. As many as you can. Spend some lazy Saturday or Sunday mornings in bed. Go to restaurants that don’t have a dollar menu. Go to the movies. Go somewhere overnight and only pack one small bag. Slam your doors and stomp around the house at all hours. Speak above a whisper. Use your doorbell. Stay up past 9 pm. Enjoy your remaining time as a family of two. Because in just a few months, life is going to get much more complicated. And much more fun.
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